Delusion

Yeah we messed around but I was never with you
Yeah I said I love you but I could never get you
Never understood why you lied to my face
Why you wanted them
And want me
But never made a choice
I learned to love from you
But love, you did not
It was never about what I needed
It was about what you want
I would never front
I hoped my honesty would soothe you
I told you how I felt
Cause I could never use you
I wanted it too work
But a square wont fit a circle
I loved you
And I loss
Cause your lies could make me hurt you

Untitled (what the doubt does)

Is it that I doubt us
Is it that I let the outside get in
And stay
And live
And change
 And comment
And leave
Is it
Leave me
With comments
And change
With you
I see through fairytale colored glass
The opiate  of my tragic
Circumstance
My analytical
Never typical
Always cynical
Circumstance
You are
So unbelievably you
So inconceivably before me
Loving, trusting, teaching, showing
Love
Why can this not be us
You and me
Together
Happy
Why must it rain
Big dark grey threatening cloud
Must be rolling in soon
And then I feel your warmth
Sun
shining brighter than its ever shined
Flower
Bloom
Bigger brighter more beautiful
You’ve picked everyone for me
Gathered them together
And spoke them to me
In your affectionate words
Can this not be us
This not be us
Not be us?
I just want to be us
No them
Just I and he
And the almighty HIM

Lessons in Love 4 (So he says)

So he says this long distance thing is too much
…Baby I feel you
So he says he doesn’t know how he can do it
…Baby I understand
So he says I don’t know if I can trust you

…Wait I’m sorry babe I thought I heard you say…
…wait you said

So he says I don’t want to talk about it
I’m speechless
Heart breaking with every second of lingering silence
…But baby…
So he says don’t ask me why
So he says I can’t talk right now
The pieces of what use to be our love
Start to fall
And land at my feet
In my mind the words, I Love You
Scroll from right to left like a jumbo-tron
Almost
I almost let his words hurt me
I almost didn’t see
I almost forgot
That the love of my life is guarded
That my baby doesn’t believe
That love conquers all
You may be unsure
But I love you
You may want to quit
But I love you
You may lose your strength
But I love you
And love you I will
Through whatever it is your going through
I’ll take a back seat to your thoughts
I’ll come second to your insecurity
Until…
You see
How this love
My love
The love I have for you
Will drive away all the doubt
So he says I’m sorry
…Baby there’s no need to apologize
..your learning to trust…to love

I miss him

I miss him
And
Dare I
Say
I need him
Crave him
Desire to feel
his flesh against my flesh
Warm and soft
And slowly
Lightly
Caressing me
In a place so sensitive
I could feel
one innocent touch
Everywhere
I miss him
And dare I
Say
Love
The way
He touches me there
And immediately
I close my eyes
Throw my head back
Bite my lip
Trying my best
Not to lose
What little mind I have left
While engraving
This moment
This feeling
Somewhere
in the corners of my brain
I miss him
And dare I
Say
Hate
The way
My body
Calls
Out to him
In the darkness
While
My mind
Replays
All
The many times
He has
Answered
I miss him
And dare I
Say
I miss him
The feel of him
Loving me
Penetrating this facade
This cynical, critical, coldness
Warming my heart
Whisper wisdom
Breaking through the ice
I love him
And dare I
Say
I love
The subtle
Nuisances
Of your personality
That manifest
In your mannerisms

An Image Of Me

looking into the image
of me I see
in you
i know this is what I want to be
the twinkle in your eye
i want to be the thought
that makes you smile
that wide eyed Kool aid smile
i want to be your peace
of mind
when everything else is shaky
when the dark clouds role in
and the little voices start in to doubt
i want to be your peace
your sanctuary
on my kiss and my eyes and my love
i want you to depend
i want to be the “S” on your chest
that stands for sweet kisses
kisses that melt away every negative
that are seeds planted in your heart
which will soon grow like trees
with strong roots
and bare sweet fruits
my superman
you are the ocean that rocks me to sleep
the gentle roar like a trembling familiarity
a strength that at times may soothe and startle
but never shall I be afraid
i want to always see myself
through the eyes that gaze upon me this night
and forever be this image
this canvas
this vessel
of beauty

I Am Yours

I am yours
From the complexity of my thoughts
To the grace in my step
My love
The love that radiates from your heart
Moves me
The way you handle me
Sweet and gentle
Always like a lady
I am yours
Do with me what you wish
Every inch of me belongs to you
My king
From the sparkle in my eyes
To the honey on my tongue
I am yours
All of me I will give
To the one and only you
My lover come with me
Dive in to an endless sea of sheets
Drown yourself in my love
Get lost in my touch
Feel the security of my legs wrapped around you
And the succulent sound of my soft voice
In your ear
As I whisper all the ways I plan to love you
To show you
I am yours
Explore my hills and valleys
Discover the treasure there hidden
For you to find
Imagine me trailing candy kisses down your center
Until you shake with anticipation
I want, I need you
Anytime, anyplace
And sweetie if you feel the same
I am yours

Sometimes

Sometimes I just feel
Like sometimes I just
Like I need
Some love
I mean see its not all the time
Just sometime
Like every now and then
But seriously
I need some love
I need affectionate arms
Wrapped around me
Consoling me
I need reassuring eyes
That look deep into mine
 And a slowly extended hand
That longs to caress my cheek
To run its fingers through my hair
To just be near me
Like sometimes I want
To feel love
In the form of the physical
But not sexual
But not complicated
Just a sweet kinda
Just be near
And lay here
In the quiet of the afternoon
Watching the sky colors change
And the great star descend
Swaying slowly in this swing
Relaxed and natural
Love
Sometimes I just feel
Down
Alone in a world full of people
And unwanted
And even though
In my mind I know
I have loved ones
I cant feel them

Lessons in Love 3

Lookin in to your eyes
I feel my body heat rise
My demeanor soften
Lookin in to your eyes
I want to resist
But somehow you say without saying
“don’t hide from me”
And how I want to
Lookin in to your eyes
I feel like safe is true
And truth is you
And you is me
And we
Well…
I kinda like how “we” sounds

Be Where You Are

I wanna be where you are
I want to lay my head on your shoulder
Feel your arms wrapped around me and cry
Cause at this very moment
My heart is heavy
My mind is racing
But in your eyes I see comfort
In your smile I see love
and I am safe
My sweet protector
Lips that kiss away pain
Make everything alright
I wanna be where you are
No sunset could move me like your presence
Being near you
Feeling loved
Feeling needed
What I would do for a second

Hot Coconut Flavored Lips

Hot coconut flavored lips
5.83 feet of purely magnificent chocolate
Delicious
Maliciously mellifluous
You and I
I, taking you to a place where the feeling
Creeps up on you slowly
From behind
And engulfs you in comfort
I, watching you sleep
Face illuminated by the rays
Of a glowing moon
Through the small slits of the shades
In my mind I unconsciously
Study every contour of you countenance
A chiseled vision of beauty
To my surprise your lips slightly part
Seem to speaks to me
Entranced
I draw nearer to
Hot coconut flavored lips
Draw nearer still
So close, the warmth of your breath heats my soul
So tranquil you slumber
Curious fingers trace the contour of mouth
One thing on my mind
So I must
Eyes closed
gently
Pressing my lips to yours
Again
I pause
And again
You stir and awaken
Strong masculine arms wrap around my center
Hot coconut flavored lips
Draw nearer still
Dive deeper
Explore
One thing on my mind
To kiss you awake
To taste
So I must

Lessons in Love 2

I feel the cool breeze brush my brow
The anxiety in me builds
As my mind races through the rationalization
For why I can’t say this
For why I must say this
For how I will feel
For what it will mean
Then I look up
Then I look up and his eyes hold my gaze
His face says just say it baby
I trust that
And I say it
With no reservation
With no regard for the consequence
I can’t contain it
My cup runneth over
So I say to him
“I Love You”
He smiles
Laughs a little
And replies “I know”

Can I be your everything?

Can I be your everything
Can I be the perfect verse over a perfect melody?
Can I touch your heart
Can I live there and call it home
You make my heart believe
That my mind may understand
That your love is all my own
All I need
To cure this loneliness
You are my medicine
The happy ending to long days
Can I be your everything
Can I be your lady
Special
In your eyes
Perfect
In your eyes
Golden
In your heart
Forever
Can I please
I would beg for your affection
Just to have your eyes look upon me
Your hands to linger in places
Your lips to kiss
And awaken places that have long be forgotten
My love
Can I be your everything
Can I be that cool breeze on a hot summer day
Can I be the spark that heats you up
And the ice that cools your down
Can I be the one that sends chills down your spine
Would you trust me
Let me do things that curl you toes
Things that make you clench your fists
And bite your lip
Would your surrender to me
As I
I have surrendered to you
My soul
You respect every inch of me
My heart
Beats only for you
My spirit
All that we are is blessed
My body
Responds only to your touch
Craves only you
Can I be your everything

I Dont Know This Feeling

I don’t know what this feeling is
This feeling of uncertainty
I don’t know how to handle this, I’m not use to
You
I don’t know how to care about you
Cause I tell myself I don’t need you
I don’t now how to invite you in
Cause I wont know what to do when you’re here
I want to get to know you
But I may not like what I see
I might let you in
And you may not like me

Hello Love

Excuse me sir
Let me whisper something to you
I want you
Not like a toy
But like a shining diamond beneath the glass case

Hello Love
I greet you with bright eyes
And a warm smile
I’ve waited for you
I’ve waited to see what form love would take
And I must say I’m impressed
I must say I’m in awe
Of this statue Adonis
Of the chiseled features
And this essence that exudes male
I can hear a man in your voice
I can see him in you walk
Your stance
I see him in your eyes
The way you take in this lady’s curve with class
You speak the words of a man
Love sounds
Smooth and deep
Like a sax and a base
You touch me like a man
Hands and fingers that yield to hesitation
Yet are eager to explore
These manly hands seem to know their way around
Seem to navigate with ease
You kiss me like a man
Deliberate and intentional
Knowing how I will react and
Silently celebrating another battle won
The lips of a man that
Explores with purpose
Seeking to learn
and adapt
And discover
I’ve waited to see what form love would take
And now
Love has this lady on fire
Without the luxury of a glorious flame
But I’d burn a thousand times
Just to say
It was you who lit this blaze
I adore your heat
As you become engrossed in mine
Sweet love
Sweet embrace
Cradled in the arms of a man
A feeling like no other
Nothing else could soothe this savage beast

Lessons in Love

Never give up
Even though the hard times get rough
Love is always enough
Just never confuse it with lust
Never confuse it with wish
Or want
don’t hope it’s love
Love is never unsure
Love is sacrificing all that you are
To all that it is
And letting it make you someone new…so
Never give up

Never before

Never before

Has the little girl inside this little woman

Been special

Been the little princess

Never before was she allowed to be spoiled

But once upon a summer afternoon

That all changed

His princess

His babygurl

The little girl inside the strong black woman

Cries out for attention

Wants to be loved and hugged

And wants

Strong black woman held up by the walls

Walls built to keep people out

And keep fear in

Wanting to let go

And let love flow

But trust

Too far from reality

Three sides to the truth

Never the whole story

Scared of the lies

Deceit

Will he love me enough to

Never hurt me

Inside I know

I want to be loved

To be his everything

Like a precious jewel or treasure

I want him to cherish me

I want love

Respect my virtues

Love me for my caring, honest ways

I want love

Need to confide in me

Tell me his dreams

Trust that I’ll protect them

I want love

Trust in me

Be able to bet his life

On my honesty

I want a kind of love

With fights and resolutions

With problems and solutions

With give and take …

And more give

I am a poet

I am a poet
no ins and outs about it
I am a manipulator of words
A conqueror of verses
I paint my world on paper
and live my life through ink
I am a poet
I spit similes so sick
I could mack you with my metaphor
test my skills if you want to
I’ll be happy to oblige you
This is my gift
Blessed am I
am I is
this
so I is
I so am
I am a poet

His Heartbeat

White boy headed southbound
On a blue train
With the blue seats
Singing beat box
On beat street
In his beat boy mind
This man
Imitates my motherland
Tribal marks on his face
And adorned of the wild
Horn stretched ears and rhythm dripping from his being
Dreadlock sings
Drums like
The ivory coast
Like my people
Like him got me runnin’ through his veins
Got drums, got sounds, got voices
Got a beat
 In his soul
Strange to the eye
Yet familiar to the heart
White boy headed southbound
Playing homeland
On my heartstrings
My brother
I feel you brother

When I think about the Lord

When I think about the Lord
It makes me want to sing
He is my light and my strength
Lifting the weight so I can breathe
I am humbled by his power
His mercy his love
He frees me of myself
From below to above
I live Him
Speak Him
Seek Him all my days
I lift Him
I give Him praise
I cry, I feel almost like I could die
And still I praise him
I still have faith
Although my heart is breaking
I’m trapped with no escape
Yet I know it is He who brings me heartache
Brings me pleasure, brings me pain
To burn me down to ashes
So that I may rise again
So that I may fly about the world
And sing of all he’s done

Her

Her smile
How my heart clings to every moment
that her lips part to express her happiness
Her happiness
How it means the world to me
To be near her
Is every breathe that I take
I watch her
As she sleeps
My angel
How those lungs pump life into that heavenly body
Every part of me is every part of her
The feeling of being without her has long since left my mind
I think
And contemplate
And still …
To not be able to be near her
To not hear her voice
To not see her smile…
Nothing could be more like hell
One day I woke up and …
I could see her in everything
In the sun
And the trees
And the everything

Oh

Oh
So you think you know me
Did you  know that I want to take a black man in my hands and let him lead me
But can I find one
And trust the fact that he needs me
Or will I make him leave me
With all my nagging and crying
About how I know he’s lying
Push him toward other women
By constant criticizing my beauty
Truly
I want to let a black man love me
But I have issues with trust
Issues with lust
Issues with letting you and I become us
I cant take the pain of  Mr. playa playa playing games
Of Mr. playa playa and all his dames
Of a boy searching for a poor man’s fame
I would call it shame
But instead I call it sad
A poor girl wearing hurt on her sleeve
Afraid to let him in because he can’t tear down theses wall
To see through theses flaws
I am hurting
I twist my arm when you look at me
Cause I know that we could never be
I know that you wont understand that I know that I don’t need a man
You won’t understand that somewhere inside me
Your like every other man
Somewhere inside me I trust you
Somewhere inside me I lust for you
Somewhere inside me I want you
But I can’t honestly say where
Sometimes its here
And at times its there
But those feelings I keep in the dark
For fear that the undeserving might find
The gift that is meant for only one
Never would you have thought that
Little old me would think
Would say
Would feel
Such things
But…

Get like me

Get like me
Get on my level
Get deep
Get focus get fresh
Get  strong
Endure
Then come see me
Hold it down
Keep it tight
Pull my grades
And look this right
Then come see me
Recognize your potential
Then accomplish some goals
Get like me
Face your problems
Then find your own remedy
Get like me

The Artists Gift

Give me your music
That sweet mellow sound that flows through you
I want your long chords
And  your heavy base line
Seduce me with your complicated melody
Li-Li-Li-Li
Let me lick your lips
And stroke you skin
Until you
PL-PL-PL-PL
Play me love notes
On your sax
Please
Let me hear your music
Please
Let me listen closely
Closely I feel you closely
Near me
Manipulating love music
I close my eyes so I can see you more clearly
Closely, your close to me
I touch you, you feel me
Feel lust vibrating from your instrument
I touch you, feel me, feeling you
Wanting you, needing you
Drawing me in with your sound
With your sax
Um-Um-Um
You play so sweet I can taste you
So sweet I’m so hot
Got me coming out my clothes
Wanting you to see me
Like I see you
In the light of the music
Through the fog of the sound
I want your gift
My Love
I want your beauty
The music stops
Fiercely I feel you
All over me
Like the rush of your melody
I feel you
Needing, wanting , craving
This feeling
Needing to conquer
Wanting to take
Craving to experience
This gift

SKYLINE

Skyline

The horizon seems so vast

I want to run to it

Run into its never ending expectations

To a place where never is forever

And forever meets always halfway

I want to run to you

Like the horizon

Seen but untouchable

Never forgotten, never ignored

Always there, but never here

Consistently away

I wish to bring you near

Cause you belong with me

You feel forever a part of me

The background to my foreground

We’re picture perfect

Yet there’s so much I don’t know about you

So much I can’t reach

Seen yet unseen

So much I wish to teach

To learn

You compliment me

The missing pieces

To my imperfect puzzle

Somehow I can’t’ complete

You are my baseline

My heartbeat

You are my skyline

MUSIC

It’s in me

I feel it

I breath it

I cant stop

I cant get enough

Of music

I need it

Race through my veins

It feeds me

It sees me

Clearly

music