Delusion

Yeah we messed around but I was never with you
Yeah I said I love you but I could never get you
Never understood why you lied to my face
Why you wanted them
And want me
But never made a choice
I learned to love from you
But love, you did not
It was never about what I needed
It was about what you want
I would never front
I hoped my honesty would soothe you
I told you how I felt
Cause I could never use you
I wanted it too work
But a square wont fit a circle
I loved you
And I loss
Cause your lies could make me hurt you

Untitled (what the doubt does)

Is it that I doubt us
Is it that I let the outside get in
And stay
And live
And change
 And comment
And leave
Is it
Leave me
With comments
And change
With you
I see through fairytale colored glass
The opiate  of my tragic
Circumstance
My analytical
Never typical
Always cynical
Circumstance
You are
So unbelievably you
So inconceivably before me
Loving, trusting, teaching, showing
Love
Why can this not be us
You and me
Together
Happy
Why must it rain
Big dark grey threatening cloud
Must be rolling in soon
And then I feel your warmth
Sun
shining brighter than its ever shined
Flower
Bloom
Bigger brighter more beautiful
You’ve picked everyone for me
Gathered them together
And spoke them to me
In your affectionate words
Can this not be us
This not be us
Not be us?
I just want to be us
No them
Just I and he
And the almighty HIM

Lessons in Love 4 (So he says)

So he says this long distance thing is too much
…Baby I feel you
So he says he doesn’t know how he can do it
…Baby I understand
So he says I don’t know if I can trust you

…Wait I’m sorry babe I thought I heard you say…
…wait you said

So he says I don’t want to talk about it
I’m speechless
Heart breaking with every second of lingering silence
…But baby…
So he says don’t ask me why
So he says I can’t talk right now
The pieces of what use to be our love
Start to fall
And land at my feet
In my mind the words, I Love You
Scroll from right to left like a jumbo-tron
Almost
I almost let his words hurt me
I almost didn’t see
I almost forgot
That the love of my life is guarded
That my baby doesn’t believe
That love conquers all
You may be unsure
But I love you
You may want to quit
But I love you
You may lose your strength
But I love you
And love you I will
Through whatever it is your going through
I’ll take a back seat to your thoughts
I’ll come second to your insecurity
Until…
You see
How this love
My love
The love I have for you
Will drive away all the doubt
So he says I’m sorry
…Baby there’s no need to apologize
..your learning to trust…to love